Beyond It All
by Zilander Kat
Summary: An AU that will include many DN characters & pairings: L/Light, Matt/Mello, Near/Sayu..Takes place mostly in England, Beyond Birthday is after Light & family and he wont stop, especially when he realizes that L is after Light's affections. Temp-Hiatus.
1. Chapter 1: Drawn to the Light

**_Pre-Story A/N:_** Okay.. So the format switching might seem a bit weird, but I'm just going where my muse takes me, so go with it too! I will be using Light's POV in journal form, then just sorta going into normal story form. BTW it is _not_ an actual Death Note, and sadly there will be no _real _murder notes in this story. But there shall be hawt, lusty boy action, hence the M rating. R&R!

**I so don't own Death Note..it pretty much pwns me though. :D** It's so painfully obvious I do not own it. Pretty much I own this little story here, and this orange popsicle.. I have merely borrowed the characters, made them a little OOC and will perhaps have some OC's. Not for sure yet, anyway!

**Beyond It All**

* * *

**Chapter One **_Drawn to the Light_

**DEATH NOTE **

_Journal, Please Keep Out_

**Entry 1**

What have I ever had to complain about? I have a family who loves me, I am top of my class, _every_ class I have ever been in. I am handsome, beautiful, god-like even, in looks _and_ charm. I can talk my way into and out of almost everything, a sweet talker and an amazing liar. I have a father who is proud of me, although he rarely sees me for who I am, I can deal with him loving me from a far. Or at least that is what I tell myself so that it wont matter anymore. I have never had any true friends, no one can keep up with me enough to ever be more than a mere pawn. I could care less about anyone, except my self. Although sometimes I have glanced at a few who could perhaps come close to the edge of my boarders, and even then it was slim pickings. I constantly turn down everyone..

I am always wanted and adored wherever I go, and I cannot complain because I have always enjoyed being admired. Except it doesn't make up for what I have always truly wanted; a person worthy of my time and attention. A person I can finally be myself around. Of course, I'm almost completely sure I'll never find this person. If I'm lucky I'll find someone who can at least beat an above average intellect in a battle of wits and looks. Not that I'm attracted to anyone, well to any _girl _at all, in fact I have probably never been truly attracted to another person in my life. Yet, I keep girls around simply so no one will question me and my preferences. I could always be honest about it, but once that is out then my reputation is forever ruined, or changed..

Being gay has never really bothered _me_, personally. I just know how it will feel when my parents finally look at me, realize that I have been lying to them so much more than they ever realized. _Of course I have secrets, _they whisper behind closed doors,_ I'm a teenager for heavens sake!_ But not secrets like this, my father, chief of police will never understand. My sister would probably accept me, but acceptance from a 13 year old is not very reassuring, even if she is top of her class and just as charming as I am. Too bad she is not older and a bit more interested in intellectual conversations, I feel as if I could actually get close to her when she is older and more mature. If she ever grows up and changes, that is.

**Entry 2**

Today was no better than the last few months, it has been so long since my first entry. And if you can believe it, my life has gotten worse. I am in a constant state of boredom, nobody and nothing can keep me from going a little insane each time I go to school and learn a lesson. Ha! Learn a lesson. As if my teachers have anything to teach me...I think I shall begin to learn German, I have already learnt quite a lot of languages...German will feel good, it's harsh and lately, I just fucking _want_ harsh.

**Entry 3**

I don't think this is going to get any better, I used to be so full of life. My namesake, so full of _Light_. But now.. Now I am losing myself. All I have become, all I am...is a mask, a fucking shell and I have no clue what it is I live for anymore. I just wish I had something to keep my mind captivated until I found a reason to keep going on.

Of course I go through the motions of life, what would be the point of letting everyone else down around me? Calling attention to myself is just asking for trouble. And yet, I wish sometimes they would just try to see me, _beyond_ perfection, _beyond_ perfect son, student, boyfriend, friend, brother, lover, fucker. Although I wouldn't know, I wont let anyone in enough to do that with. I think it would make me sick to give in and let someone touch me, or maybe I'm above such petty things. Sometimes I even wonder if maybe I'm not even gay, but just some sort of asexual person. It's just that humans are such disgusting, boring creatures and I cannot seem to be captivated by any of them.

_God, send me something, I'm bored of this life._

**Entry 4**

Today...today my father found out. He said he heard from another person in the force that I was seen around "_a group of gays_." I told him they were friends, acquaintances more like it. But the way he looked at me, I could tell. He knows, he knows and he hates me, he is _sickened_ by me.

My mother and sister have no clue, although they would probably take it better, like I said before. But my father, he cannot stand that I am like this, and now I see why he has always distanced himself from me. He knew one day I would fail him.

I am a failure in his eyes.

**Entry 5**

I _shouldn't_ care what he thinks, except I find myself unable to hold back emotions I used to be so skilled at hiding. I once _wanted _to be him, be my father, for the homophobic creep that he is. He watches me closely now, asks where I've been, _who_ I've been with...as if he'd believe any answer I give.

Today, it felt like someone was watching me out of the corner of my eye. I saw a man, not Japanese, he was Caucasian...and I thought he was following me, but that's crazy. I mean, he wouldn't go _that _far, would he? Have a man follow me, make sure I'm not fucking some man-whore in a back alley after school? Or is this man someone else completely. I _will_ get to the bottom of this.

**Entry 6**

My suspicions were correct...I don't know why my father underestimated me, I _have _assisted with many cases with the force. To find out the truth I hacked my fathers system, _again_, and found the man's file. An American private detective who used to be FBI, Ray Pember. What a poor excuse for an agent, he used to solve crimes and now he follows young teens around making sure they aren't fucking men, living a perfectly acceptable lifestyle?

Being gay isn't bad, I should be proud, no. I should just be happy with who I am, there's nothing unnatural about it, or strange. Plus, maybe I'm not actually gay...Although I have met someone who is sort of cute, not that I see him as being long term, but Ash.. He's cute; black hair, dark eyes, pouty, kissable lips...and he even plays a mean game of chess..

Okay, that settles it. I am definitely gay...

Also I have also upped the security in my room. I feel like this diary can never be safe enough; I have installed a false bottom to my drawer and created a fake diary. It is another "Death Note" notebook, the latest craze in Japan, although I hear they are going to be banned because of the serial killer "B," who has taken to writing down-_in exquisite detail-_who and _how _they will kill in note books and sending these notes to the police in order to mess with their heads.

I have also "heard" (O_kay, so I might've hacked my father's computer some more..)_ L is involved in few of these cases, now _there_ is someone I would love to meet. Or be, although I'd never say that to him. But.. he is amazing. He is justice personified and clearly very intelligent. I have never seen his face (obviously) but I assume he is older and maybe even handsome. Or maybe I'm just looking for someone like me, someone to find me and whisk me away?

Christ, I'm so uke, it's not even funny.

**Entry 7**

So I kissed Ash, quite a bit...and then I was nearly killed. I have been in the hospital for a week. I just got home and my painkillers are almost kicking in. I feel so robotic about it, and yet I can still feel the knife in my back, the carvings drawn into my skin. Some sick bastard grabbed me and Ash...and decided he'd have a little fun with me and him. Ash, he got away but it took a long time for them to find me.

_The man...T_he man with the red eyes and black hair; the unnatural look to him, like a photocopy. It's weird, but I feel like this man was somewhat a kindred soul to me, in a sick sort of way. He didn't apologize, instead he told me that I was beautiful and that he needed to create some art on one of God's finest angels.

I cried, I admit it and I feel sick from it. But he told me that I was another liar, and that I had to show my true colours, "Let my wings out," he said.

Then he drew me a pair, deeply into my back, two beautiful angel wings.

It was strange but I had always wished for a pair, although these would be pretty useless to me. I bet he could've been a great artist if he wasn't such a sick fuck. I asked him "Why me?" and he simply licked his blade clean and told me it wasn't because I was gay, it was because he needed some _Light_ in his darkened state.

I watched him and he devoured the blood from the knife, crying out whenever he'd add something new. _This is B. _The words had run through my head and before I could stop myself I asked him and he smiled and nodded.

Then I asked another dumb question, as if I'm fucking immortal and impervious to that damn knife of his. It went something like this "Don't you care that I know what you look like now, B?" At the same time I was asking myself why I was practically enticing this creep to kill me now. Instead of killing me B's smile simply grew larger and more vicious, he answered me back, and the weird emphasis on "Beyond" is still strange to me, is this a clue? Or his name?

Anyway, he said: "Why Light...I'm simply way _Beyond _caring." Then he laughed manically as if this was the best joke ever told, and when he saw how confused I was he just laughed harder. Then, while still laughing, he dropped a blood red Death Note beside me, bashed in my head a few times with the metal handle of his blade.

And then...then I woke up in the hospital.

In the note book copy I had been given by my dad, B _Or is it Beyond?_ wrote that he would hunt me down and find me, tie me up and do things that I couldn't imagine. In short he wrote that he would write scripture on my arms and legs, fucking hang me on a cross, _upside down,_ driving nails and thorns into my skin, creating a crown for me.

I would be _his_ Light, and after three days of fucking living, he would take me down and cut me up into little pieces, so that he could eat me nice and slow. And of course, it said he would share. _"Cause everyone should have a little Light in their lives." _I write this without much emotion, but inside I am trembling. It also said some things about my family, how he knew where we lived, and _"how much time we had left."_

It scared me, _scares me..._and I _hate_ to admit that. So now we are moving away. Well, we are all moving away, but I am not going with my family. I'm too much of a danger to them.

They are relocating to America where my father has been offered a job, he has kept crime rates down so low here, he is very well known. He choose a small state, out of the way, our names will all be changed, our lives deleted.

**Entry 8**

My father blames me, he yells at me and tells me its because I'm different that we're in this fucking mess. Because I went sneaking off to go kiss some "_fag_," and he sneers that word...He hates me, so _badly_. He tells me I have ruined everything, and that when we finally move I will no longer be his son, no longer will I be his only son.

I used to be his pride and joy and now I'm just some fucking mess.

Maybe if I end it now, then I could keep that sick son of a bitch-B-away; no one to play with, no Light to consume and destroy. I shudder when I think of his hands on my skin, they moved slowly, but I could tell he wished for his fingers to be graceful.

_I guess we monsters can read each other pretty well._

He guessed my secret dream was for wings and freedom...and his...His was to be someone else, someone perfect, to be worthy and powerful.

But that's not too hard to figure out, is it? Don't we all want all of those things?

I have always wanted them and even now. I long for freedom and for wings that wont simply scar and fade to pearly white lines, but real fucking mobility.

_I should probably be careful for what I wish for_.

**Entry 9**

I got to keep that copy of the pages from that man's Death Note. I don't know why my father let me have them, maybe to make me feel guilty? Regardless I keep them with me all the time. I keep them hidden here, and a second copy is on myself. _I hate him_, my _father...and Beyond._

But I am almost grateful for the chance to leave Japan.

Good thing I know so many languages, and I have no one to keep me back. I know I will miss Sayu and my mother. I miss them already, they know that my father and I fight constantly, even when we are not in the same room. It's like a cold filling this house, breaking us all up from the inside out.

It is a Light blinding us all and terrorizing us, sometimes Darkness is best.

Sometimes I simply wish to stop being Light.

**Entry 10**

This will be my last entry in this Death Note, I will hide this in my luggage and hope that someone will find it who understands. I can't do this anymore...

He hit me today, hit me hard. But that wasn't the worst of the it. He pulled a gun and took off the safety. Telling me he'd "S_ee me in hell_," he pulled the fucking trigger, right in my face. Except the gun had a blank in it.

I thought I was going to die, second time in a month. My own father, he hates me so much, he wanted to just leave another little scar on me, this time an emotional one that will never be lost, believe me.

I will never forget him, never forgive him. _I hate him_, and I finally understand what he wants me to do. Goodbye, everyone.

I love you mom, Sayu. Stay safe and I'm...

_I'm sorry_.

***

* * *

  
Voices surrounding and attacking him, blurring, Raito didn't know where they started or stopped.

"_We're going to need a stomach pump, now!" "How much did he take?" "He swallowed the entire bottle, I don't know if he can make it, not only that but his damn wrists wont stop bleeding." "Well, work on this stat, I can't stand to see another kid die like this." "Can you hear me, son? Stay with us." "Raito, Light, wake up. Don't die, please brother." "I can't believe you'd do this to your mother and I, you are even more pathetic then I first thought, Raito. I am ashamed of you." "Sir, can you here me?" "Wake up, please. Oh my little boy! Oh, no! No." "Come, we must go, the plane leaves in a few hours." "But, he...We didn't get to say goodbye." "That's not Light anymore Sayu, that's just some impostor, a coward, in his body." "Daddy? No. It's Light in there, I can feel it." _

_A soft pair of lips brushes his cheek and Light feels tears, his own and his sisters. He feels her light breath on his skin. "Brother, my brother. I love you so much. You are Light, you will always be Light. The brightest star, the best person I know and I will always love you. Don't forget me, find me, okay? I'll miss you so much, Light. Don't do this again, okay? Find me-you have to find me, oka-NO! Stop it! I want to say goodbye! -Dad! Stop it! I'll find you Light!" "Sayu, we're going, now!" "Light! LIGHT! LLLLIGHT!!!" _

_Darkness. Darkness and death. Almost death, I had wanted to die so much. And I couldn't even do that, God must be playing a cruel game with him. Or maybe he was destined to die at the hands of that man, that red-eyed freak. _

_Beyond... _

_I'm so Beyond caring too, B. _

_I'm so Beyond being Light._

_I simply wish for Darkness.._

_Darkness..._

_There is no Light here._

_---_

"Light-Kun...it's time to wake up now." A soft hand is placed within mine, tightening, gently brushing. "Light-Kun, please wake up. Your sister will never forgive you if you do not." Then gently, barely spoken the words "Please, Light. Wake up...for me."

* * *

hmm.. wonder who that person at the end of the chapter was! :P

**End of chapter 1 btw! **

_**And now for a Post-Story A/N:**_ Soo.. Review please, pretty please? I shall offer you some of this orange Popsicle that I own, it's all I have that...and some leftover candy from my trip overseas.. :D and that's bout it..

Okay, So I have some more written, and some ideas about where this will go.. But I'm not really quite sure where that muse will take me just yet. Sooo there will be MTC.

Right now I'm listening to trip-hop chick music, "Sleep, he said, you're already dead.."

I should do _something _productive... But that's just lame!

Love it or hate it? Give me some feedback, I welcome it! ('cept the flames might make me sob uncontrollably and _that_, my friends, is simply _not _a pretty sight)

_Cheers,  
_Zilander Kat

There will be more to come! :hearts:


	2. Chapter 2: Burn and Consume

_**Pre-Story A/N: **_Okay, so I'm very excited to see where the muses take me, and excited about how many people have come to read! I have to say it was a bit unexpected, but I have had around 180 hits/reads, and even some reviews. :Insert ridiculously large grin: It made my day, thank you for the feedback!

So big thanks to my reviewers: **deathnoteno1fan-codegeasslove, Sonoko (**well, I _hope _life gets better for Light, but you never know.. B might just get his creepy little hands on him again.  Hope you continue to review and tell me how I'm doing!**),** **Fallen Angel WIngs (**_Your review made my day, lol__**),**_**Xelena (**Yes, rattled is one way to describe that Brilliant Boy, Beyond. Yes, I always imagined Light's dad being a bit like this. I simply love the character of B, he's just so interesting, and screwed up. LoL, Thanks for your review) and a special shout out to**Sanzo4ever**- _Because you are the first person _ever_ to review one of my stories.____ So, thanks! *hands over a ridiculously large et special cookie just for you*_

Okay. So I got to the five reviewers for this story, I'm happy that you guys are enjoying and I really would love to hear from you some more! I even have some alerts for the story and a fave or so on it. So thanks to you all! Well I will not go into anymore boring details, my rambley author notes are getting huge.

**I do not own Death Note, **although I do own this bit of story, and this mug of cold, half finished tea. So far I don't really have any OC's. Maybe Ash, but he seemed like more of a lusty boy filler (which sadly, didn't even get lusty) But total proof bout Lovely Little Lighty's preferences. :D R&R!

**Beyond It All**

**Chapter Two** _Burn and Consume_

"Where am I? Mom? Sayu?" Light Yagami sat up slowly in his bed. Well, not in _his_ bed, but in _a_ bed; a hospital style bed with tubes and monitors. Although only a few were hooked up to him, it was not the best way to find yourself waking up. Especially when you had the intentions of never waking up again.

_'Why is it so quiet? This doesn't even feel like a real hospital, and this isn't Japan. I mean, I can't hear anything really, no traffic, sounds, nothing.' _

"Where am I?" Light asked out loud, voice groggy.

_'Oh God, please, not B.' _

"AH! No!" Light jumped back into the edge of the hospital bed, his body trying desperately to flee from the man before him, but he found himself unable to move. The tubes in his arms and the wounds all over his healing body caused him to hiss in pain at this sudden recoil. The man, _B,_ he sat in such a peculiar manner, his legs up to his chest, thumb pressed gently to his lips.

_Those spider-like hands running down my spine, Fuck!_ –Images came flashing back at Light- _Helpless as a pair of wings were carved ruthlessly into his back, the laughter from cold lips and the shivers he felt as the blood was licked away gently from the knife...Almost lovingly._

The man's head turned slightly, questioning Light with endless black-'_Wait, black?'-Yes, _Bottomless _black_ eyes; they were watching him, peering into his soul. He had the same kind of erratic hair and _the _long spidery fingers, his back apparently stuck in a hunched position. Except this body didn't feel forced, it felt _right._

The fingers felt genuine, the way he sat felt normal, except it was truly far from any concept of normal Light had ever had in his lifetime. He shook off his criticizing thoughts, and spoke to the creature before him.

"You're the real one, aren't you?" Light whispered out, some of his fear fading, albeit not completely, the man before him nodded twice. He knew what Light was talking about, _who_ Light was talking about.

"I'm sorry Yagami-Kun, I have forgotten my manners. You are in England, at the boarding school that you're parents wished you to go should they ever have to leave you. Of course, I know that they are alive and well and where they are currently stationed, but Yagami-kun knows he must keep up the pretence of being an orphan. Your last name and records have already been altered." Not missing a beat, Light replied.

"This is Wammy's then?" Again, the man nodded twice. His eyes were not cold, or warm for that matter, but calculating and curious, and _definitely not red._ They were full of hidden passion and strength, but for now there was a dull sheen to them, this boy was hiding.

"And...Just who are you?" The man seemed to stop and ponder this.

"You may call me Ryuzaki, Yagami-Kun." This time it was Light who nodded twice, smiled lightly and held out his hand to shake.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Ryuzaki, and please call me Light. I assume you are the one who set up my residency here with my _father_ before h-he passed away?" Ryuzaki nodded his approval of the easy way this lie slipped out, the slight emotion that was given away through the tipping of the amber-eyed boys head, the quiver when he said 'father.'

'_He truly sounds upset when he mentions his father, or is he just that good of an actor?'_ Even as an excellent actor, Ryuzaki, or L, as he truly was, assumed he'd be able to read this boy well. Reading people came naturally to L, as if he was simply opening a book and consuming a soul with his never-ending eyes.

He had already studied this boy's life, through and through, and he found many of the reports lacking and underrated when it came to Yagami Raito.

When their hands met, and eyes stared face on; black peering deeply into honey brown, L could swear he felt a spark of light jump through him. Some sort of feeling bringing him to life when he didn't know he had been near death before. Of_ course_ he had found Light to be brilliant; a star in the heavens to be both studied and admired.

_'Beyond must have felt this too, this need for Light after so much Darkness, so much pressure and loneliness.'_ This feeling, the weird way he felt around him, it was new and exciting for L and it left him wanting more. Light Yagami had a flavour to him; he was unique and beautiful, angelic and intelligent and probably the only one L had ever met that would be worthy enough to be called equal.

"I hope you'll like it here, Light-Kun." L stood before him, bare feet pattering on the cold floor, his temperature mirroring the frigid surface. After all, even if he is _Light incarnate_, it is better not to let it in or bathe in this dangerous feeling. Before leaving, Ryuzaki pushed a small bowl of green Jello towards the boy; it was topped with a pile of whip cream and a maraschino cherry. There were several other bowls that had already had their desert-like contents removed-_by Ryuzaki_-Light assumed.

Light stared after the man as he left his room, forgetting completely the questions he had for this strange man, his hand holding the small bowl that had been offered like a peace treaty...Or like an apology, or maybe just a way to reach out. Light wasn't sure, but he knew he would get to the bottom of all of this. He _had_ to, it was the only way he'd ever see his mother and sister again, to bring this deranged psycho to justice...Or to his merciless death.

He thought again to the original that freak-Beyond-had been attempting to be. '_He must be someone important to be mimicked so effectively by B. And yet, B never even came close to him, to this Ryuzaki, maybe he'll help me.'_

With these final thoughts, Raito lay on his side. The Jello resided on the desk beside him, his head upon his pillow and once again he sought refuge in the darkness of his mind.

* * *

Walking out through the medical area had proven to be difficult, L found himself wanting to be back in Raito's room, watching over him while he rested.

'_He knows what Beyond looks like, and he has survived an encounter with him.' _L shuddered at the thought of his insane _ex-_successor. Beyond was a terrible creature to think on, since L knew he was very capable and willing to go through with the threats made upon Light and his family.

L had been given the original blood red Death Note journal, the death threats were written in a scrawl that eerily looked like L's own handwriting. B had gone _beyond_ crazy in his obsession and copying methods. There had also been a great deal of disturbing images of Raito involved in all of these gruesome threats, his body torn and his eyes crying out for some sort of mercy that would never be found in the hands of B.

Beyond must have been stalking the boy for a bit of time before making his move against him. He would not have had enough time to draw these images _and_ carve wings into the boys back. L's heartbeat raced as he realized that Beyond was almost always watching, like he had always done. He was a predator, and he had chosen Light to be his next victim; now he was simply waiting out this intermission before he began up his game of Prey and Devour.

Making his way to his own private quarters at Wammy's, L couldn't help but further remember Beyond as he was when younger; always looking up to the detective, wanting so badly to be him. It should've occurred to L to check the gleam of madness in the young boy's eyes, especially after A's suicide. After all of the reports came in regarding what his Backup had begun doing to the animals on the grounds, his "experiments." His obsession with taking things apart and seeing how they ticked.

_'Too much death, pain and insanity lies within these halls of Genius.' _L thought in a poetic mood, he was almost at his door when he realized there was a commotion going on down the hall from his office/bedroom.

A lithe body encased in tight, black leather clothing stood in front of a large metal cart; no doubt containing Light's final bag of personal belongings, L's lunch of cake, tea, his newest case folders and a few other sweets from Watari. Usually the old man would be making such a delivery, but knowing Mello; the blonde had probably intercepted Wammy and taken the job voluntarily.

"C'mon Matt, you're so damn slow. Turn off that shit and help me with this cart." Matt clearly did not care to assist the angry blonde; L froze and watched the inevitable fight begin to take place. "Fuck, Matt! Don't make me repeat myself." Mello stopped to take a vicious bite of dark chocolate, his teeth savage.

Yet Matt did not look up from the handheld game he had, he almost seemed _too _absorbed in the game. A small grin growing on the red heads face as he realized Mello was approaching him, furious and graceful steps told him that this was a semi-dangerous Mello mood.

"I'm sorry Mels, did you say something?" Matt asked with a positively cheeky grin.

He ducked swiftly at the punch Mello threw at his face, but missed avoiding the second one to his stomach, and as a result Mello was able to push him roughly against the wall.

"Mail, don't push me today. Not today." Mello growled softly, Matt's smile was pushed under the mask of an apologetic face.

"Awe, Mels. You know I'm only playing with ya." Matt's smile was friendly and knowing, his dangerous Mello was practically a pussy cat. He hadn't even begun to truly push the blonde's buttons, _yet._

Mello nodded and then seemed to sag into the gamer slightly, his head coming to rest upon the boys shoulder. L continued to observe two of his top successors, and was not very surprised to see that Mello had initiated the sudden hug. Matt brought his gloved hands up to Mello's back and held him to his body, which was still being held to the wall.

"How is he back, Matt? Why can't he just die already?" Mello's voice barely held a note of fear in them, but this dent in his cold armour spoke volumes about how the boy truly felt. The gamers' grip on the blonde increased, his eyes hardening as he spoke of Beyond.

"I wont let him hurt you, Mello. I'm not going to leave your side, _ever_. Okay? I'll always be here for you." Matt brought a gloved hand to his lips, taking it off and leaving one hand free to touch Mello's face; where he traced the scars that should never have graced his young skin. Mello blushed, realizing how weak he looked and sounded he pulled quickly from Matt's grasp, and returned to the front of the cart, hands on slender hips.

"Yeah, well, if _that's_ true then you wont mind _finally_ getting your ass in gear and moving this cart. It's stuck around the carpet right there, and it will _not_ fucking move!" Matt had once again turned to his handheld game, the teasing smile making its way back to his face.

"I'm sorry Mels, did you say something else?"

L stepped forward before Mello was provoked into anything more desperate then petty shoves and punches, which were _nothing_ compared to Mello's true powers of destruction. Although, Mello was so fiercely devoted to Matt that he would never truly hurt the boy, even if he _himself _didn't realize such a thing yet.

"Matt, Mello." L greeted each boy with a nod, and noted with a small smile that Mello was almost jealous that Matt had been addressed first, L sighed lightly.

"Mello, thank you for bringing the cart up. I am most anxious to get started on lunch...and-uh, would you two care to join me?" The impromptu invitation caused Mello to practically _glow_. Matt also looked very happy, but only in relation to Mello's reaction.

"Yes, of course."

"Good, then perhaps you two can help me look over some evidence regarding the case?" L watched the boys before him, only 16 and 17, yet so _experienced_, like all Wammy children.

Both boys nodded excitedly and rushed to get the cart to L's room as fast as possible.

* * *

Mello's hands paused over a photo of a young Asian boy of beautiful colouring, although the beauty had been marred by abuse and stress, it was still very much there. The photographs had captured the story etched upon the golden boy; Light's skin was the canvas, and abuse was the medium of choice.

"Wings." Mello whispered at the photograph, eyes frozen on the beautiful pair of wings that Beyond had carved for Raito. They were still bloody and bruised in this photograph, but were wondrous and terrible as they went down the young boys back, and scarred once perfect flesh.

Mello's hand strayed up to touch the scar on his own face, losing himself in a memory, a nightmare from his own past:

He remembered the cackle of glee in B's voice as he had dragged Mello to one of the large sheds on Wammy's grounds and then had set it on fire, claiming that '_if he had to burn, then all who followed should be cleansed by the hell fire as well_.' The fire had reached Mello's young body and begun to consume his flesh, the leather vest he had been wearing melting to him, relentlessly.

The fire was worse than almost anything Mello had ever been through, and _that _was saying something. B watched with his cold, red eyes. The fire did not seem to alarm him in the least; he crouched down into an 'L stance,' and watched. His eyes held the wonder of a child's; the curiosity and awe.

Then with a sudden move he had poured freezing water on the young blonde, stopping the consumption mid-way. Mello was shocked, not at the initial attack, but at the sudden pause. He looked up at B, agony in every movement.

'_Why? Why save me?' _The words were barely a whisper in his seared throat. Beyond had looked down at the boy gently, and touched the side of his face that wasn't burned before replying.

"It is because you're not even worth cleansing, dear Mello. You'll never be worth the fire, never be worth L. So I'll let you live, cause it's better you live knowing that, then die believing you were close to the ultimate goal." Beyond smiled his terrible smile, leaning over to kiss the angelic side of the youth; he looked up to view the clear, ice blue of the boy's eyes meeting with his own ice cold, blood-red stare.

"Look, your sight hasn't even been ruined..._Oh Mello_." The older boy chided him lightly. "You must not have tasted good enough for the fire, I was _right _to stop it from burning you." Beyond spoke as if Mello and he were the closest of friends, and were sitting in a café rather than in the middle of a still burning shed. The heat was still unbearable and the voice of the fire still raged within Mello's ears, but Beyond was close enough, so the blonde could hear every horrible word spoken from those lips.

"But still, to show there are truly no hard feelings, I'll even leave you with a little present." B reached for the cross necklace he wore on his pale neck, spidery-like fingers gently unclasping the necklace and holding it to the flames beside him. The necklace glowed with new heat, Mello moaned as he realized a new scar was to be added to his already ruined flesh. He only hissed when the hot metal hit his skin, the cross left a pink mark on the boy's chest; it was nothing compared to the burning that some of his left side had received.

"Okay, Mello. Now I hope you aren't _too_ mad at me, I believe I just overestimated you." B talked with pity in every tone, his malice nowhere to be found now that he had proven Mello was nothing to him.

He dragged the boy out of the shed, humming happily and licking his chapping lips, he pressed a note firmly into Mello's good hand before whispering goodbye to the young boy. Before Mello passed out he opened the note, and there scrawled in red ink on a page of text, were the words: _Only those who are worthy will be touched by the flame, be consumed and cleansed and will come out unharmed from the hell fires. Only those who are worthy will be unscathed and those who are left for dead shall die knowing they will never reach that place of glory._

Later on, when Mello had been healed, he had discovered the story in which the page had been written on. Tears flowed down the young boys face; half ruined, half saint. It was the story of a young saintly, Christian girl, Mary Lathrop. It spoke of her unwavering faith and devotion. The page was initially from The Evangelical Repository* and it seemed even in his choice Beyond was mocking him, testing his sanity and stability.

It was strange how much B got to Mello, how he could sense what had happened to the boy before he had come to Wammy's; the church, the devotion, the pleasing behaviour. All this had been done to try to get attention and love from his family and then they had died.

They had all died in a fire, his corrupt father and his mafia business the cause for it all. Mello had prayed, his little hands tucked tightly together, watching in the snow outside as the building burnt down, his family still trapped within, and his own mother's scent still on his smoky clothing. But they had not come out alive, and he...He was _spared the fire_, not worthy enough to be consumed, _twice burned and twice rejected._

Matt's hand came down on the young blonde's shoulder, his touch making Mello jump and gasp. The memories had pulled him into reliving the nightmares of his 17 years of life on this Earth, his never-ending pain and fear of fire. He had thought it interesting that he would die of fire, like his parents had so many years ago, but Beyond had stopped that. Taken away that idea and had instead fed him to the metaphorical fires of obsession, hatred and revenge.

"He's going to pay." Mello breathed out lightly, and felt Matt's hand tighten on his shoulder again, his silent and ever-loyal companion.

"He has to."

* * *

So, did anyone see that one coming? I mean, Mello and his awful scars, emotional and physical? I had to find a way to fit it in somewhere. Beyond is such an awful creature...So why not make him even worse and let him torture poor Mello? And his reasons for letting him go...guck. Btw, I'm sure you noticed but this is obviously _after _LABB story took place, but let us pretend that Beyond escaped prison and his burns are more or less peachy keen (cause that seems like something Beyond would be so capable of)

**End of chapter 2! **

_**Post-Story A/N: **_Okay! There is the second chapter; I apologize for not having L and Light in any more. But I reaaallly wanted to get Matt and Mello in there, just to get the story going from a few places. Right now I'm studying for some finals, fun stuff... So here's my update and then I promise I'll get back to it...

Anyway, I digress. Please tell me how I did, is the flow okay? How are you finding the story? Any suggestions; love it or hate it? I want some feedback, even if you douse my story in gasoline and let B do the honours of flaming my creation. (Ouch, Beyond is such a nasty bitch, he'd so do it too, just for the pleasure of watching me cry.)

Anyway! I am excited, and I have to admit I am writing another few stories, one is being tweaked right now, but I am just SO excited for it! I'll post it when I have a bit more of it, I just don't like to have to go back and change the story line once I've begun posting.. :)

*Oh, btw, I wasn't sure which page (331) to write that note to Mello on, so I let fate (eh-hem, _Google!_) guide me to a choice, it's a bit strange and I found it somewhat fitting. If you read it, tell me what you think, good choice?

Review me and I'll share this can of cranberry ginger ale and my pack of SweeTart's with you...yum.

_Cheers,  
_Zilander Kat

:hearts:

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